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A Letter to Juliette

20 Sep

Sweet girl. My beautiful treasure.

Oh I’d hoped for you.

I heard the sonogram lady say “ah, looks like it’s a little girl”. Simple words to her. A sentence she probably says several times a day but to me those words were pure gold. I couldn’t quite believe it. I don’t really cry, love, but I cried. I looked at your Daddy and he was so happy but it was different for Mama. My brain was going crazy! There she is. I’d waited for you, I had hoped for you. She found me. My daughter.

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We were all so excited to meet you!

You and I were on bedrest for a month before you came, which was great because that was the summer it was over 100 degrees everyday in Texas. I know you did that on purpose to do something special for Mama. Even now, you still love to give me special gifts like dandelions and little notes.

You were a tiny pink burrito with a bow. The most perfect little cupcake blessing. I will never forget the nurse rolling us through the hospital in a wheelchair, Daddy walking next to us carrying bags, flowers, and discharge paperwork. I had you in my arms – the most perfect little pink bundle of love. I couldn’t stop staring at you and neither could anyone else. Everyone who passed wanted to glimpse an angel’s face.

Well sweet love, I’m just going to lay it out there. You cried. A LOT. It was more of a shriek, really. It was kind of like holding a siren. It’s a little funny to think about now but at the time, Daddy and I did not know what to do. It felt helpless to not be able to give you what you needed. Your brother almost never cried as a baby – what were we doing wrong?

Most things have a way of passing in time, and you didn’t cry forever. But as you grew, new adventures arose. Oh, you have kept us on our toes, little one! You’ve covered our walls with makeup, scratched a mural into our wooden kitchen table, ripped books to shreds, and tried to flush an entire roll of toilet paper at once. You refused to do any work the first few months of Kindergarten because it was “boring”. A few times, you’ve gotten overwhelmed with feelings so much that you’ve hyperventilated. Once when you were three years old, you pitched the biggest fit because Daddy and I wouldn’t let you take the car to go get food. You wouldn’t speak to us for hours. Some stories are funny, some are harder and scarier for Daddy and I to remember, because we were so sad for you. Like when you were a brand new baby, we felt helpless during those times.

What Daddy and I know now, more than six years later, is that you are so very headstrong. You know exactly what you want and once you decide, you are extremely hard to stop. It can be a gift, birdie. I pray you use it to stand up for yourself, do what’s right, and glorify God.

Today you are brilliant and beautiful. You’re still headstrong and determined, and that gives us its battles, but you have turned into one of the most giving and fearless souls I’ve ever met. You like to talk things out, know why something is, not just that it is. You still squeal whenever you see a new animal. You love working with your hands and are almost always carrying something (or ten things) around. You’re the best at snuggling. You see the world in your own unique way, and Daddy and I believe that can give you a real chance to to some good in it.

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Never know when 3 balloons will come in handy.

They say the toughest metals are forged in fire and that makes me think of you, baby. You’ve brightened our world in ways we cannot explain, and we treasure you. I’ll be blessed by God to have the chance to see you grow into the woman He’s made you to be. Mama loves you, sweet bird.

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A Letter to Wilson

14 Mar

You must’ve been waiting on the other side, ready to come to us as soon as we were ready. It seems all we had to do was say out loud that we wanted you, and there you were. You’re still that way now, my Sunshine, always at our sides, eager to know exactly what’s going on and what’s being said. You couldn’t even stand to be in my belly for too long, missing out on all the fun! You made your grand entrance 5 full weeks earlier than we expected. “Suprise! Ready or not, I’m here to shake it up, all 5.2 pounds of me.”

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“Hmm. I wonder where I can get a cape in this hospital”

From the moment I saw you, my baby, I knew you were going to be the kind of boy who is sweet, gentle, caring, and sensitive. I just knew it. I pictured you in the future, tall and skinny like your Daddy, glasses on your face like Mama, and maybe carrying a musical instrument in a case (brass, of course!). I knew you would shed more than your fair share of tears, knew your heart would be big. Knew you would feel things on a grand scale. Well guess what, little one? As my own mama has shown me countless times over the years, we are usually right when it comes to the affairs of our babies.

I knew your name was going to be Wilson before I even met your Daddy, did you know that? I used to dream about a perfect little boy named Wilson. Of course, I had no idea what his last name would be, but I knew he would be my little Wilson. Your name is very special because it was part of my name for years and years. Giving it to you was a wonderful gift that made me so happy. With it, you are a perfect blend of your Daddy and me.

I want you to know that you are a marvelous creature. You are so funny! We started to see your sense of humor when you were just 2 years old. You tried to make us laugh and got so excited when we did! We couldn’t believe what an amazing little person you were. You still try to make us laugh every single day. You always succeed, except maybe when it’s past bedtime and you’re trying to stall for more time by being silly. ;0)

Don’t get a big head when I tell you this, my boy, but you were the best baby ever. You hardly ever cried, and slept all night long in your own bed when you were just 2 months old! Mostly, and almost always, you did (and still do) anything and everything Daddy and Mama ask you to do. You are a good boy, my love. A good person. I hope nobody ever tries to make you believe differently.

We always knew you were so gentle and loving, Wilson, but I don’t think we really knew how much until your sweet baby sister was born. Daddy and I heard from lots of people that you might have a hard time with a new baby around. Well of course, there was no hard time with you. Starting with the first time you met your sister, you have been her protector. You love her so much, and it shows with every grasp of her hand, every kiss on the cheek, every goodnight hug (which you’ve given her every night of her life so far). You pretty much completely freak out if she gets anywhere near the road in front of our house. You run in front of her to block her from going any farther and yell for me to pick her up. It’s kind of funny for Mama, but I know that for you it is very serious business.

You and I sing “You Are My Sunshine” every night before bed. Every night I get as close as possible and look at your face as we sing and I try to etch it onto my brain. You don’t know I’m doing this, but I promise you, I am drinking in all I can get of you during those 20 seconds. I don’t know how much longer you will want me to sing Sunshine with you. I hope forever, but I know that’s not realistic. That’s why I etch and drink while I can.

Wil, you’re turning 5 years old tomorrow. That’s why I’m writing this for you. I want to remember the wonderful, quirky, Superman-undies-wearing, cape loving, lightsaber weilding little boy that you are right this moment. In a few short months you’ll be in Kindergarten, and that scares Mama a little, as I’m sure it scares you a little, even though you say you’re totally excited! I don’t know what will change when school starts, but I do know that I can’t wait to see you continue to grow. In fact, I feel like I have the best seat in the house. I get to watch you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

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80’s Music and Advertising

11 Feb

First of all, I just found out this weekend via Satellite Radio that Manic Monday is not a Cyndi Lauper song. You thought it was a Cyndi song too, didn’t you?? Whatever, yes you did. Anyway, no. It’s by the Bangles! The Bangles, who apparently, also did Walk Like an Egyptian, which I always thought was done by The Pretenders. Evidently my 80’s pop music trivia needs some work. I feel like I owe the Bangle girls an apology for thinking someone else did all their songs. The only song I thought was theirs is We’ve Got the Beat, but I’m sure I’m wrong about that too. <pause for Google search> Yep.

So anyway, enough about the things I thought I knew which have turned out to be wrong, which is a topic we could continue to explore for days. Here’s what I really wanted to tell you:

It turns out that with the acquisition of a DVR system in our home, that we don’t watch commercials at all. Upsides to this: no annoying commercials. Downside: we never know what movies are out because we miss all the trailers.

Anyway, we always thought this was a great thing for the kids because since they see no commercials, we figured we wouldn’t have to deal with them begging for whatever random toy was being shoved down their throats on TV. As it is, if our 4 year old sees even a minute of a toy commercial both of his pupils will literally turn into the shape of a star and his body is transported through time and space to a land where his very existence hinges on ownership of this toy. The next words out of his mouth will be “M..MAMA. MAMA. I Wa..I Ne…CAN I HAVETHAT”

So yeah, we try to keep the commercials at bay, but lately I feel like maybe that’s backfiring. For the last few weeks we’ve been asking him what he wants for his birthday next month. Here’s how one conversation went:

 

DADDY: So Wil, have you been thinking about what you want for your birthday?

WILSON: Yeah, so you know that part in Star Wars where Darth Maul kills Yoda?

DADDY: That never happened. Yoda died of natural causes.

WILSON: Oh yeah. Well I want that for my birthday.

-or-

WILSON (watching Spiderman): Mama, look at Spiderman climbing up the side of that building!

ME: Oh yeah, cool!

WILSON: I want that for my birthday.

 

Poor kid. What have we done? The other day his grandma asked him what he wants for his birthday and he went into great (yet somehow still very much vague) detail about some transformers toy they have in the childcare area at the gym. I have never seen this toy.

So we’re all very much confused on exactly what to get this child for his birthday next month. I’m thinking, to make up for the fact that we can’t get him the act of Darth Maul killing Yoda, we’re going to have to go big. Like, new bike, big. Maybe he’ll be so excited by it that he won’t realize he didn’t receive the power to climb the side of a building?

 

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