A Fine Line

29 Nov

Earlier this year I ran into my OB/Gyn at the Museum. It was a little awkward, for me at least. I came this close to saying “Hey! I’m surprised you recognized me with my clothes on”.

What actually came out of my mouth was “Hey! I’m surprised —–uh— how crowded the museum is today!”.

My husband said I should’ve said it, that it would’ve been funny. But would it? What if she is completely uncomfortable with making light of the fact that 92% of our interactions take place with my clothes laying on a nearby chair in a pile. Maybe we’re not allowed to laugh at the fact that she watched me give natural childbirth, in all it’s humiliating glory. Can we talk about the fact that I swore I would never look her in the eye again?

That’s the problem with trying to be funny. It’s a fine line between a good laugh, and “you’ll be receiving a letter from my HR department”.

Hey, did anyone see Mr. Belding as one of the judges on How I Met Your Mother this week? Full disclosure, I backed the Tivo up at least 3 times to re-watch his part.

Did I ever tell you about the time I met him? It was at a Planet Hollywood restaurant in Atlanta circa 1999. He was eating with his wife and some other people. Since I didn’t have the courage to walk right up to his table, I did the classy thing and followed him to the bathroom. My grand plan was to wait by the door of the ladies’ room until he came out of the mens’, and just sort of run into him all cool like “Hey, aren’t you that guy from that TV show?” I realize this paints me with the crazy stalker brush, but it is what it is.

Amazingly, it worked like a charm. Not the keeping it cool part, I totally lost it. But he was the nicest guy and let me gush on about how I’d seen every episode of Saved by the Bell no less than 11 times. He let me walk with him back to his table and introduced me to the other people he was eating with. My memory of the whole things is fading, but I do remember him telling me that my face was as red as my hair (at that time I was pretty heavily into RR07 Intense Red Copper by L’Oreal). I told him I was pretty excited to be meeting him, and my face wasn’t normally so freakishly flushed.

Anyway, I walked on cloud 9 for a while after that encounter. I still have the pants I was wearing that night. My red Wrangler jeans. I’ve never gotten rid of them, despite the fact that from 2003 until a few months ago, they had no hope of fitting me anymore. They’re out of style, and come up way too high on the waist, but I wear them occasionally. Eh, I live in Texas now. Wranglers never go out of style here.

So anyway, maybe sometimes it pays to be slightly inappropriate and risky? Are there times when secretly following someone to the bathroom without their knowledge can result in something good? Yes.

“A building with two Beldings, one of whom is balding.” -Zack Morris upon meeting Mr. Belding’s brother. Haha, classic Zack.


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