Worst showing ever.

So we don’t really get all that excited these days when we have a showing on our house, because we’ve had so many that amounted to nothing. But it’s true that we might get a little excited and say a small prayer whenever someone comes to look…because you never know who will be the ones to bite. Well I’ll tell you who it WON’T be. The people who came today between 2:00 and 3:30pm.

Rewind with me to this morning. I am getting Wilson and myself ready for work, and staging the house at the same time. As I’m tidying the guest bathroom, closing the shower curtain to hide Wil’s bath toys, straightening the hand towels, and putting the hand soap under the sink (because hand soap is offensive to prospective buyers, did you know that?). I notice while I’m in there that the diaper pail kind of stinks. This totally freaks me out, because I pretty much am always afraid that my house smells like a port-a-potty because of the dirty cloth diapers. The fact that I don’t smell them often is no comfort, because I’m convinced that I must have gotten used to the smell and therefore don’t notice it anymore. So me smelling them right then is a huge red flag that they must really stink. I open the lid…sure enough, jam packed. What was I supposed to do? I definitely didn’t have time to wash them, I had to leave for work!

ps-I know what you’re thinking, because it occured to me later, so clearly. I should have just dumped them in the washer, turned it on rinse, and left. My brain likes to punk me by throwing up blockers to good ideas, then lifting the block once it’s too late to do anything about it. My brain was on a roll this morning. It also made me prepare my iced coffee, leave without it, and remember about it halfway to work.

ANYWAY– I just left, and prayed the potential buyers wouldn’t linger too long in the guest bath. Fast forward to later in the afternoon, and we get home, walk in the door, and it’s the first thing I see: Olive has given oral birth to a huge and disgusting hairball right there in the dining room, below the glossy stack of flyers boasting our  “Beautiful Move-In Ready Home” on our table. My stomach drops, because I just know it was there long before the showing, and there’s no chance they didn’t see it. I figure it played out something like this: The lady buyer (who is most likely newly pregnant, and has a heightened sense of smell) got so disgusted at seeing the hairball that she ran into the guest bathroom because she felt sick. She is struck by an overwhelming stench of human waste, where she is made even sicker. She cries out to her husband, “Get me out of here!!” Husband, wife, and realtor all run away as fast as they can, never to return.

Sound plausable? Take a look at a screen shot of the feedback from that showing, and tell me what you think…

I’m mortified. I am so glad the feedback mentions nothing about the smell of diapers. I wouldn’t be able to handle that. I’m going to try to pretend this showing never happened. We got the cat some anti-hairball medication, in case you were wondering. The end.